The Armenian Species

Gossip: you can’t avoid it. And maybe, you shouldn’t want to. Scientists have argued that gossip is an important tool for social cohesion and information transmission, allowing us to function more effectively in an ever-larger society.  Moreover, it’s an important tool for effective learning: it can give us a sense of who would make a good ally—or who we should avoid—even in the absence of direct contact


Jealousy is the fear of comparison. Max Frisch.

Armenians: what can I say.  They make a competition out of who can outdo the other with the most wittiest license plate, the most expensive car, the biggest house, etc. The biggest, the most, the fastest – in short, if they don’t win the word ending in “est,” they don’t feel well that day.

In talking behind each other’s’ back, they are very skilled.  Armenians call it “something to chew on.”  We call it gossip.  And they’re always chewing… If you know what I mean.

Gossip is all around us. What is the role of gossip in a community? Is it good or bad for life in common?


“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”
― Henry Thomas Buckle


And this is very similar to another trait they call “yergoo-yeress-antzootyoon.”  I think Shakespeare had Armenians in mind when he wrote, “look thy flower but be thy serpent underneath.’  For you see, Armenians have the gift of putting you at ease and making you smile with their charm and wit, of making you the most important person in the room, but when you are no longer there –  like a serpent they sting, they bite and now  you’re the butt of all their jokes and the villain in every story. What happened to all the love you ask?  You’ were lulled by the Armenian peacock’s feathers and song but ended being covered in all of their guano.

If they need help, they have no problem in asking for it.  Your car, your time, your tools and so on, are all their’s for the asking. If you spent your time and energy in helping them and giving them direction – good for you in mentoring them, but do they appreciate? No.  As if you never exist.  Ungrateful?  Maybe.  Forgetful? Maybe on purpose.  In short – they take, take, take but seldom think about how to give.

Lastly, Armenians never seem to follow but always want to lead.  Compromise doesn’t seem to exist in the vocabulary.  And as a result, you have 2 different Popes, a million different churches and all manners of political parties, organizations and charities. You have countless flavors of Armenians separated by where they are from and of course their children change flavors depending on where they travel to.  And none of them seem to want to cooperate, get along or acknowledge the other. Instead they are always bickering and always fighting.  It’s amazing that Armenians have survived for this long.